If Today You Hear God’s Voice, Harden Not Your Hearts (Psalm
95:7-8 and Hebrews 3:13)
John
was the only guest outside waiting at the gate when I arrived to start the
coffee. I said, “Good morning.” No response. I asked him, “How’s it going?” No
response. Just a blank stare as he passed me while I opened the gate. John is
very mentally ill. I guess Manna House offers him some place of refuge. I will
never know. He has never spoken anything to me that I could understand.
For the
past month, Charles has been asking me to help him return his broken cell phone
for another one. For four weeks I have called the “free” cell phone company,
been put on hold for twenty minutes, then found out that some additional
information was needed to complete the transaction; information that Charles
did not have with him. So today I assigned a Memphis Theological Seminary
student interning at Manna House to help Charles. Charles finally had all of
the information needed. Later the student told me he absolutely despises making
those kind of phone calls, trying to get through the automated customer service
options, and being put on hold before finally speaking with a real person. But
he also said, “I was able to help him by doing something I hate.”
I was
taking the list. A new guest gave me his name. He wanted “socks and soap” today
and a shower for Thursday, the next time men will shower. I asked him how he
was doing. “Not well” he answered. “You can’t know how hard this is out here.”
And I knew he was right.
A guest
told me he needs to have surgery on his neck. Without the surgery he risks
paralysis if he falls and hits the ground a certain way. With the surgery he
faces a long and painful recovery and the risk of paralysis the surgery itself
carries. “I’m taking my decision to prayer, he said, “I don’t know what to do.
I’m hoping God does and tells me.”
A guest
with big feet needed shoes. We did not have his size. He has been asking for three
weeks. A call for donations of larger sized men’s shoes was put out on
Facebook. About an hour later a man came into Manna House and said, “I have a
donation of shoes to make. All size 11 and larger.” Our shoe closet shelves are
now adequately stocked with those big sizes. His donation means that when the guest
with big feet comes Thursday, he will get shoes.
I was
sitting around talking with some guests. I asked, “How many of you have been to
jail or prison?” They all raised their hands. Then the stories started. I
sensed a pride among them that they had not let prison break them. None of them
said it was easy.
“I’ve
mostly done short time, in county jails.”
“I can
tell you about Sing Sing. Did you know the phrase ‘being sent up the river’
comes from prisoners being sent up the Hudson River to Sing Sing?” I had not
known that.
“I was
in that prison where they made that movie, ‘Shawsank Redemption.’ Ohio State
Reformatory. I doubt anyone was ever reformed there.”
Guests
and hosts gathered at the side of Manna House, holding hands, standing together
for a few moments of prayer to start the morning. Except one guest was on the
phone. He seemed to be in no hurry to end his conversation. So, I began to sing
a version of the old standard, “Jesus on the Mainline.”
“Jesus
on the cell phone, tell him what you want!
Jesus
on the cell phone, tell him what you want!
Jesus
on the cell phone, tell him what you want!
Just
call him up and tell him what you want!”
Several guests joined in, smirking, knowing where the song
was directed. The guest on the phone, perhaps startled by this unusual way to
begin the prayer, looked up. He realized we were singing about him and ended
his phone call. Prayer commenced.
There
was a commotion in the backyard. A guest
was harassing other guests. He had been told to stop by several volunteers. He
continued. I asked him to leave. His response was less than polite or helpful.
He continued to argue through several more requests that he leave. Finally, I
said to everyone in the backyard, “Since this gentleman will not leave, we are
closing early.” It was nearly the end of the day. Still guests were not happy
and let the man causing the disturbance know it. He begrudgingly left the yard.
At the
end of each morning we gather for reflection and ask, “How did I experience God
this morning?” I have asked that question this week with a line from Psalm 95
echoing in my heart, “If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your heart.”
I am
not sure if or what God is speaking through these stories from Manna House. Maybe
God is speaking in my heart when my heart does not harden in the face of constant
hurt and need and injustice. Maybe God speaks in my heart when my humanity and
compassion are deepened.
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